I know, I know. It’s been a hot minute since I have been social, much less taken the time to sit down and do some writing. My coffee is done brewing, so let me grab that and we’ll start. (a few moments later) Truth is I’ve had a lot going on lately and I just needed to take some time away from people, virtual or in person. This month would have been my 21st anniversary, so that has been affecting me a bit along with some other drama being stirred up. Parenting can be tough, especially when you have two different methods and they compete while being separated. I have gotten a number of emails and messages from you all, and I greatly appreciate your concern and checking up on me. I’ve had a couple readers ask me about how nudity or being a nudist has affected my mental health, or how to cope with a limited amount of time to be naked when being naked brings so much happiness. I was going to send an email back to each person giving my thoughts, but I needed a good topic to write about, and I needed a bit of motivation to get my butt in gear and start writing. At least it can get my mind off everything else. I apologize in advance if this post seems to be a bit…scatter brained? I have a lot of thoughts that are about to spew out, so please try to follow my madness.
It goes without saying the last 12 months have been rather difficult for most of us. The outbreak of COVID-19 essentially sparked a paradigm shift for the entire world. Anyone who could work from home did, those who couldn’t had to risk infection by going in, or you were among the many who essentially lost their job due to furloughs or business closings. It’s been quite difficult and one that has caused a great deal of stress, anxiety, and depression. I would love to see the stats on the number of people who sought out mental health services during this time. Personally, I immediately saw an increase in my stress levels just because we were all home 24/7 with no way to decompress. There was no commute to give us that “me” time we all desire, and we seemed to go from one room to the next with no break in duties, especially for parents of small children. Reminds me a bit of my post A Shackled Nudist and that feeling of being…trapped. Trying to work and home school at the same time adds an exponential amount of stress.
Rise In Naked Time
I’ve always considered myself a “nudist” or at least adverse to clothing, and I would be naked any chance I got. Even as a kid, my clothes would come off at some point. Not much has changed in adulthood except I’m much more conscience of when I choose to do it. My biggest concern is not offending or bothering someone else. It is my choice to be naked, and not their choice to see me. As the pandemic went on I started having more and more stress put on me. I had no means to escape the constant calling of work in my office, chores around the house, or the demands of my family. I love my family to death, but I needed some space and me time. Seeing what this was doing to me I made the choice to add things into my life that would bring me some peace and happiness. The first thing I started doing was sleeping naked again. I finally gave up on the worry of being questioned or that my special needs daughter would get in bed with us in the middle of the night. I needed to sleep good at night, and the best way for me to do that was be as comfortable as I could be. So, I would go to bed first and keep a shirt next to the bed to put on if need be. I went to bed first so I wouldn’t be questioned why I was sleeping naked, and the shirt would help cover up, if needed. It’s a shame I had to do that, but it was my “compromise” if I was going to do what helped me feel better. It was worth it to me.
The next thing I did was basically get up early in the morning so I could let the dog out, drink my coffee, and start work/my day in the buff. I did this everyday until about 10 or 11 when everyone started waking up. Although it was only like 4-6 hours a day in the morning, I immediately noticed a difference in how I felt mentally, and how I was feeling about myself physically. I did this for months and it was such a change in how I had lived before. I had decided that I needed this to feel better. As time went on and things started to fall apart in my marriage, it was this time alone in the nude that helped me to get through things. I was saddened how things were going, and I knew deep down there most likely wouldn’t be any reconciliation. This was made clear when we started living apart.
Back in late July-August time frame we had a conversation that solidified the separation and we essentially went our separate ways. I remained in the home and he went to his mom’s to stay. I didn’t have anywhere else to go since my family live back in my home state. We ended up splitting the time with the kids about 50/50. During the times they were away I pretty much lived naked 100% of the time. There were times that I would go 4-5 days without putting on a stitch of clothing. I had no need to. I bought groceries about once a week and I would cook all of my meals. The only time I put on clothes was if I needed to go outside or if someone came to the door. I can say without any reservation that my happiness increases and my general stress decreased the longer I was naked. Why is that? I think it is the simple fact that I like being clothes free, and it’s something I can do that brings me joy. I’m sure the same can be said if you’re playing your favorite board game, or visiting you favorite restaurant. Things you enjoy bring you happiness, and for me that is being without clothes. Also, as an added bonus, my body learned to regulate its temperature, so I don’t get cold as often, and my laundry is way down (like two, maybe three outfits a week). Generally, it’s a win-win for me. Full disclosure…I keep a small space heater next to my desk for when I am sitting still for a long period of time. 🙂
How To Increase Your Naked Time
For many people who feel they are more or less a “closet nudist”, it’s extremely difficult to find the time to be naked. Most of what I see and read essentially comes down to either work responsibilities, or their family does not understand or they don’t want to understand. The situation can be very difficult to work around because you don’t feel understood, they don’t want to understand, or maybe there is a level of shame that you can’t or don’t want to get rid of. I’ve been there. I get it. I’m sure you can ask almost any nudist, and they will tell you their story of how difficult it is at times, especially with friends and family. Even now, I have told no one in my family of my nudist lifestyle choice. Do I think they will understand? Most likely. I simply don’t like awkward situations, so I tend to avoid them when I can.
So what can you do to increase your naked time? Good question. I think that is the hardest question to answer for many who don’t have the liberty or support system around them. If you are younger and still live at home, then you may have some options to help give you that much needed time. I used to lock myself in my bedroom just to have my free time to be naked. Living in a blended house with a step-brother made it difficult, but I managed the best I could. I never ventured outside much to try the naked in nature scene. I think a lot of it was fear of being caught and me still not knowing there was a whole nudist culture/lifestyle out there. I wished I had known then what I know now!! If you are a young aspiring naturist reading this, then I encourage you to find that spot you can go to after school to decompress and relax. If you’re lucky enough to have a secluded enough place, then you can finish up your homework for the day while naked in nature! Oh to be young once again. Another thing I would do if I was younger is I would invite at least one close friend to try it with me. At least I wouldn’t feel like I was trying to go at it all alone, and I could have someone or someones “grow up” with me in naturism.
If you have a significant other or are married, then now is the time to talk to them about how you feel and what you need/want. I know it can feel embarrassing to bring up a topic like this because you feel like you will be judged. I spent many years feeling the same way, and I wished I had brought up the topic before I got married. At least I could have gotten it out there and let the chips fall where they may. I did not like the feeling I was hiding something or that I couldn’t talk to my significant other/spouse/etc about anything. It could have just been me and my trust issues. I’m sure that goes back to when my dad left my mom. I don’t know but I digress as usual. However, going forward it will be a topic to be brought up that I want and need to live some kind of clothes free life, and if it is a deal breaker for them, then it wasn’t meant to be I guess. Well that is if…BIG IF I find myself in any kind of relationship going forward. I would question any kind of relationship success if I felt like I couldn’t talk to my partner or potential partner about anything. Relationships are built on trust and if you can’t trust the one you love, then are you two truly in love?
Now, how do you broach the subject if you are in a serious, committed relationship and your partner/spouse doesn’t really know anything about naturism or your interest in it? I think a good place to start is to read this post at Naturist Place: How to enjoy nudity if you live with people who aren’t accustom to nudity. He gives you a really good perspective and ideas on how you can subtly bring the topic up to those you live with or who are close to you. I’ve read his post a number of times to get a few ideas. Also, there is another post you should read too: Naturist Place: Debunking the Misconceptions About Naturism. These can give you the tools needed to get you through the initial phase of “exposing” your naturist desires.
What do you do if those around you refuse to participate, allow,or ridicule you for you desire to be naked? Well, I guess you’re at a fork in the road where you have to make a decision. I will talk about what I would do or what I have done, but this may not be something for you to do. Nudity has been something that I had always enjoyed, and after different comments over the years, I knew the possibility of being nude at home was going to cause problems. At least bring forth comments that I didn’t need or want to hear.
Like I wrote before, I just made time for myself. That may sound selfish but I have been told by many family and friends that I need to take care of me if I’m going to take care of my kids/family. There is a lot of truth and wisdom to this that I never realized was so true. How can I give those around me the best version of me if I have no way of being my best? I’m not a person to run away from my problems, so it’s not like I can just up and leave my life behind. I took control and did what I needed to do to be my best. Part of that was to be naked when I could. Even if it was for an hour or two a day. I didn’t make any sudden changes in noticeable behavior, I didn’t really hide what I was doing, and I kept my same schedule without affecting anyone else. It helps that I am usually an early morning person, so rather than getting my day started in pj’s or comfy clothes, I just started my day naked.
Now, if this is something that you would like to try and do, then you will need to make sure that you don’t do anything shady or suspicious. Sudden changes in your behavior may spark questions from your significant other. “Why are you getting up so early?” “Why did you stop coming to bed with me, or why are you staying up later than normal?” Why does it take you so long to get home from work now?” What spouse/partner wouldn’t ask those questions? We are human and everyone is prone to that temptation, and we all know it, so what I consider to be the most important part is to not do anything shady or bring suspicion. I’m not saying you should hide what you’re doing, and if you get “caught” don’t act like you’re doing anything wrong. That will just make things worse. All you have to do is say that you wanted to sit naked while drinking coffee and reading emails. Just be ready for weird looks, scoffs, or even a few questions.
We’ve all seen the blog and news posts about how being naked can increase your happiness and body image, but it seems those who are not accustomed to the nudist lifestyle don’t want to partake. My challenge to you is simply this: For the month of April I want you to increase your naked time each day. Even if it’s just for a few minutes. If you can increase your naked time by 5 minutes each day, then you will have 2.5 hours of extra naked time for the month of April. A much better place than you were for the month of March. If you happen to be single and live alone, then I challenge you to live naked as much as your time allows. So if you currently watch TV with lounging pants and a shirt, then get naked and watch TV in the buff. You can cover up with a blanket if you need to. The goal is to NOT be wearing clothes.
16 thoughts on “How Being A Nudist Affected My Mental Health”
I grew up very closeted about my desire for nudity. It just wasn’t something acceptable in rural Michigan with fundamentalist parents. It was a remote existence so I could at least get naked in the forests and fields where there was no chance of being seen.
My question is: Why does a desire for nudity persist despite every single influence militating against it? My earliest memories involved wanting to be naked yet being aware that nobody could know about it. Was I being OCD? Was I rebelling? Was it because it was forbidden fruit? Was it my Asperger’s kicking in? It never went away but over time it did mellow.
That was several decades ago. When I became an adult and could flee home I moved to California where nude beaches and resorts were common. (This was the 70s and the state was still full of hippies. 🙂 ) determined that anyone who was more than a casual acquaintance would know about it up-front and that way there’d be no fear of being found out. If you couldn’t deal with it you would never be important in my life. To my amazement, at least out here, nobody cared. Much nonproductive anxiety suffered for no good reason.
Now it is just a hobby. One that I enjoy immensely and engage in and blog about on an irregular basis.
As we mature, we kinda gravitate to being either independent or co-operative. I still haven’t fathomed why some people prefer to get along and others prefer to thumb their noses at the rest of the world, but nudists seem to prefer to understand their own preferences rather than what others in their world want them to see.
In any event, stuck here in a world that, for whatever reason, can not understand our libido for not wanting anything on, we have to devise ways to accommodate ourselves.
I appreciate your perspective on taking care of one’s self.
As someone that wasnt brourght up in a naturist envioment i always liked the idea of begin naked maybe even like a lot of kids running around naked or having trouble keeping them on i didnt really know just know thats how i felt when i was younger i can even rember when i must have been 10 or 11 begin dared to go naked in a corn field with others i chickened out maybe back then just was too shy but now so much wished that i had and maybe have found the way of begin a naturist then instead of later in life.
Im not sure if you can call it a hobby or just a way of life i now know that begin out of clothes brings a sence of freedom and now also feels a more natrual way of living more relaxed, Im thankfull that my wife likes to go naked too now which makes life so much easier our only regreat is that now that we hadnt started when we got together and bring the family up as naturists. Like a lot of people that go naked we did keep it from family and the kids in the early days and found that that created its own problems so in the end we bite the bullet and told them all and the reaction wasnt as bad as we first thought the only really negative one we had was from our eldest son who even now doesnt like the idea of mum and dad stripping off while for the other even though its something they wount do (yet) they have accepted the fact that is what we like to do.
That’s great you are able to enjoy nudity together as a couple, and it’s great the people in your life were accepting of it. My daughter is like your son, she said that she doesn’t want to see people naked, especially mom or dad. Wasn’t anything I did or said to her, but I guess it’s her own choice and the way she is. I’m okay with her choice which is why I don’t hangout naked when she is around.
I have written a lot about my own nudism. I have to ask, How did you get into a marriage where your husband wasnt even receptive to nudism. Usually, it is just the opposite. The males end up being, like myself, single males when we do group events. My wife used to go with me but no longer. But, finding a female nudist is fairly rare and most men would really enjoy that.
Early on it wasn’t that big of a deal if I was naked more often than not, but after kids and I guess getting older people change. Normally, yes, men are much more willing to “allow” nudity or be naked at home, but I have a couple of girlfriends who would be naked more often, but they have told me their husbands would not approve of a lot of nakedness. So, it seems there are some men out there who find it uncomfortable or “not right”. It’s a shame for sure.
Alexis, I can only second your post. First, communication and respect are key in a relationship. This should lead to keen understanding of the significant other. When it comes to nudity, this means to be able to be naked when we feel we need to and be able to spend time naked with other nudists. On the nude time, I personally feel I’m really my true self when I’m naked and I grab any opportunities to stay naked or strip naked. The moment I’m naked, my mind works differently, my mood changes and my general awareness raises. I wish I could be naked on a permanent basis, although I’m naked more often than not. This goes to the point that there are activities, like running, jogging, working out, doing yoga, swimming or gardening that I cannot do clothed again. If I have to, I feel unease and my mind is focused on getting naked ASAP. Nudity is my most comfortable state, physically and mentally, alone and with others. I stopped trying to find the reasons and accept this reality as mine.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading your thoughts. Stay strong! It’s a shame I only read this now, April is nearly over! In a small island community like the one I live in, nudity is not really possible even in the rural parts, so it is restricted to indoors realistically but I try to make the most of it.
I live in Hawai’i where it is comfortable to be in little to no clothing most the year, and have spent a lot of time nude at beaches. I have been in relationships where nudity was occasionally accepted, but am now in a long term relationship where she is definitely NOT a nudist more of a prudist. So I often hide my “needs” and I know it is unhealthy and unfair to both of us, this blog is really helping me and I feel like I need to talk it out and most of all listen.
Anyone else in this situation? I am exactly in what Alexis is describing.
It’s very difficult when each person in a relationship have differing viewpoints on nudity, sex, or intimacy. It’s good that you’re reaching out to gather viewpoints from other people, but I think the most important conversation is with your partner. These can and are very difficult conversations to have with someone who has a different opinion. It could be a personal comfort or insecurity that she is dealing with. Those are hard to overcome. You may try to slowly integrate general nudity over time, and provide continued reassurance and compliments to help build that. Good luck. I hope you two can gain a common understanding that is mutually beneficial and grows your relationship.
Thanks for your thoughts on this. I have been a nudist all my life; shedding my clothes, other inhibitions, whenever and wherever I can. I have always sought out friends to be naked with as well, and I have had many relationships that were comfortable and carefree. But, I have also been in some where it was not as carefree. Luckily my wife, who is not a nudist, is really okay with me being naked. She is not a prude, and she’s okay sleeping naked, or being nude around the house sometimes. She is not interested in getting naked with others, or going to a nudist environment, but she supports me and doesn’t mind if I go anywhere and enjoy my lifestyle. I’m truly blessed. But it was a conversation we had early on when we were dating. I look forward to reading many more of your posts.
Great comment Bobby. I’m thankful to hear you have a very blessed relationship that allows you to do this, and, most importantly, a trusting relationship where neither of you feel insecure about your choices. It’s hard to find someone who will either jump in with you or allow you to pursue it without them. There are so many fears that being naked immediately leads to inappropriate conduct, so it’s much more difficult enjoy the lifestyle socially. You and your wife have shown that it can work, but you have to be open, honest, and communicate constantly. Great job.
Here in Italy it is difficult to be a nudist, authorized beaches can be counted on the tip of one hand and the law punishes the nude as “obscene acts in public places” with very high fines. For me however it was different, I was not raised in a naturist family and I never had a tendency to undress, (as I have read from other nudists) I have always lived with all my clothes on, I knew nothing about nudism / naturism and not even care. Then about 5 years ago, I had the opportunity to talk to a naturist, I remember we had a long discussion and my initial idea about nudism / naturism was actually quite negative, I thought they were just stripping for exhibitionism. What reason did they have for showing their genitals? Was a costume that annoying? Despite the extremely bad way, he was always kind and that disarmed me. In the end with kindness, willingness to talk (even on “sensitive” topics) and very calm, I don’t know how, but he convinced me to try nudism alone in my house. And despite the shame and the fact of considering the whole situation absurd, I began to feel the effects. Freedom and well-being slowly began to make themselves felt and when I went back to dressing I felt the need to undress again for the first time. After a few days I had become 100% nudist and even though I couldn’t believe I had become one of them, I too gradually started living naked spontaneously, without anyone telling me (the more I went naked the more I needed to undress). In these 5 years, of course, I have inquired and read some things about naturism from which I discovered nature in nudity (one of the things I like the most) and a more natural and healthy lifestyle than the previous textile life in which I think it is impossible to go back, not even wanting to! (and I don’t want to). It would take too long to list all the positive aspects of this lifestyle. I can only thank fate for allowing me to cross nudism. It definitely changed my life. Saluti dall’Italia.